Why I Wear a Rubber Hat

The night rain began to seep into my sleep and loosen things up. The cobwebs I had been allowing to gather in my tubes washed away in a sticky wad that squished when it hit my fever hot pillow. I hadn’t realized that the webs had become structural necessities in the halls of my mind

When a brain deflates, it makes a sound not unlike a obese clown farting into a balloon representation of a midget giraffe and letting go too soon.

I saw it begin to slink away, but it had taken my motor skills with it, which it held before itself like a cane of oozing light. It turned the corner and I could not see how the moonlight made it shine. All I could do was lie awake in the dreamless void that I was left with, wondering how my boss would react to the news that I was brainless once again.

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