Trick or Fucking Die

No one went to old man Godkiller’s house after he ax murdered and crucified a school bus full of children back in ’06. Even though they could see that he had full-sized candy bars, the best looking pumpkins, and even a bowl full of smoking “potion” that the teenagers claimed would get you “fucked up”. But even they didn’t go into that yard on Halloween. No matter how many times Godkiller played the Monster Mash and danced around with a skeleton in his arms, cackling about his stash of candy and his egg-free siding.

But Jimmy was real dumb. He couldn’t read and he thought everyone was a cartoon and when we told him all about the rivers of blood that old man Godkiller would unleash upon the neighborhood if he caught even one child in his yard after dark he didn’t hesitate for a second, just went on over, hopped the fence, and proceeded to walk directly into the old man’s withered claws. His flesh fell from him like a pile of shaved ham. Godkiller had made drums out of his skull, scalp stretched tight over the hollowed eyes. Boom boom boom.

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